Embracing Change: Discovering the Journey of Moving to Barcelona in Your 40s

Moving to Barcelona in 2023 has been one of the most transformative chapters of my life. After nearly two decades as a mental health professional, I made the bold decision to pursue my Master’s in Psychology—something that always felt just out of reach in the U.S. thanks to the looming shadow of $100,000 in student debt. Spain offered a more affordable route, and I jumped at the opportunity. I spent my first year diving headfirst into Spanish, and now I’m approaching the finish line of my graduate program.

But let me be honest—it hasn’t been all sunshine and sangria.

Spain’s bureaucratic system can test even the most grounded therapist, and starting over in a new country at 42 comes with a unique set of emotional and mental hurdles. Learning a new language and building meaningful connections at this stage of life isn’t as easy as it was in my 20s. Still, these challenges have deepened my resilience and strengthened my empathy—two things that have only made me a better coach.

Here’s a look at the messy, beautiful, and sometimes frustrating path I’ve walked so far:

The Bureaucratic Maze

Trying to figure out the empadronamiento, NIE, and the rest of Spain’s immigration paperwork was... a nightmare. I ended up hiring a lawyer because I simply didn’t have the energy to deal with the chaos on my own. If you can afford it, do yourself a favor and do the same—I spent €700, and it was money well spent.

If a lawyer’s not in your budget, don’t panic. It’s hard, but not impossible. Just take it step by step. First, get your empadronamiento—you’ll need a housing contract for that. And please, don’t fall for the scammy landlords who say you can’t use their address to register. That’s illegal. If you can’t empadronar, they can’t legally rent the place.

There are plenty of helpful guides online, but above all: breathe. You’re in Spain. Things move slowly here, and that’s just the way it is. Even with a lawyer, I applied for my student visa in September and didn’t get my TIE until June. Patience isn’t optional—it’s essential.

A bustling street showcasing Barcelona's unique architecture and culture.

Watch Out for Scams (Seriously)

Let’s talk about the darker side of moving abroad: scams. They’re real, they’re common, and if you’re not prepared, they’ll take a toll not just on your wallet—but on your mental health.

Here are a few common scams to watch out for:

• Fake apartment listings: If it looks too good to be true, it definitely is. Scammers often copy real listings from legit websites and ask for deposits before you even see the place. Never send money before visiting a property in person.

• Landlords who refuse to empadronar you: As I mentioned earlier, if they say you can’t register using their address, they’re either not renting legally or trying to avoid taxes. Walk away.

• "Helpers" who overcharge for basic services: Some people will pose as helpful middlemen to assist with your paperwork—only to charge absurd fees for things you could do yourself (or with a real lawyer).

• WhatsApp “friend” scams: Yes, this is a thing. You’ll get messages from random numbers pretending they’ve met you or want to connect. Don’t engage. Block and move on.

The hardest part about these experiences isn’t always the financial hit—it’s the emotional fatigue. You’re already adjusting to a new culture, a new language, and a new system. When you’re scammed, it can feel like the whole world is against you.

That’s why mental fortitude is key. You need to expect that you’ll get knocked down sometimes—but you also need to know that you’ll get back up. Let yourself feel frustrated, angry, or defeated, but don’t let those feelings define your experience. These bumps are part of the road, not the whole journey.

The more prepared and grounded you are, the easier it becomes to recognize red flags early. Trust your gut. And if something feels off—it probably is.

A vibrant local market in Barcelona filled with fresh produce and local flavors.

Making Friends & Facing the Language Barrier

This part has been unexpectedly tough. As I mentioned earlier, making new friends at 42 isn’t as easy as it was in my 20s. People have different priorities—or they’re just plain tired. You’ll make plans, and they’ll get canceled. Repeatedly. It happens.

Barcelona does have a vibrant expat community, but the language barrier adds another layer of complexity. Still, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Taking Spanish lessons helped me meet people who were also looking for connection and growth. Some of those connections have turned into real friendships—solid, no-bullshit relationships, the kind you appreciate more as you get older.

One thing I’ve come to love about being in my 40s is that I have zero patience for superficiality. The people I’ve bonded with are on the same wavelength—focused on growth, personal development, and building meaningful lives rather than partying until dawn.

You also don’t need to break the bank to socialize. You can grab a coffee for €2 and have a deep, fulfilling conversation. This is your chance to break out of your comfort zone—take that salsa class, enroll in an art course, go to that language exchange meetup.

And yes, not everyone in Barcelona speaks English—contrary to what some tourists expect. But if you’re open to learning Spanish, you’ll find that people are eager to help you along the way. Drop the entitlement. You’re in a different country, with its own rich culture and language. Embrace it.

A peaceful coastal view showcasing Barcelona's beautiful beaches.

Lessons Learned and Looking Ahead

These past few years have taught me more about myself than I ever expected. I’ve learned that I’m far more resilient than I gave myself credit for. The challenges have been frustrating, yes—but also meditative in a strange way. They forced me to let go of old beliefs and embrace discomfort.

I won’t lie—I’ve been painfully homesick at times. I miss proper Mexican food. There’s a little carnicería back home in Colorado that makes burritos out of chicharrón, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about them. But I’ve also learned to stop getting stuck in nostalgia and start focusing on what’s beautiful right here, right now.

Spain has its flaws, like anywhere else. But the chance to reinvent yourself, to live more slowly, to step outside of the bubble you’ve always known—that’s priceless.

So if you’re thinking of making a change in your 40s: do it. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. And I promise, there’s still so much beauty ahead.