Is Your Religion Teaching You to Hate? A Deep Dive on Traumatic Beliefs and How They Create Inner and Outer Disharmony

As a mental health coach, one of the core aspects of my work is helping people identify and shift beliefs that create internal tension and external disconnection especially those rooted in fear, shame, or inherited trauma.

So today, I want to gently challenge a belief that still creates division, pain, and confusion in our world: hatred or rejection toward LGBTQ+ people especially when that belief is rooted in religion.

Before we go any further, I want to emphasize that this conversation isn’t meant to shame or attack anyone. It’s meant to invite clarity. If this is uncomfortable, I understand — and I invite you to stay open just for a few minutes.

Step Back in Time: Imagine Being a Newborn

Let’s set religion aside for just a moment.

Imagine yourself as a newborn. You haven’t been taught anything yet. You don’t know about race, politics, gender, religion, or sexuality. You’re a blank slate — open, innocent, unburdened.

From that place, can you find any genuine reason to hate someone simply for being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer?

Is there anything inherently harmful about someone loving differently than you do? Is there anything that LGBTQ+ people do that straight or cisgender people don’t also do?

For example, when people bring up the bathroom argument, the idea that trans people using the bathroom of their gender puts others at risk , did you know there’s no statistical evidence to support that? In fact, transgender people are far more likely to be harassed or assaulted in bathrooms than to ever cause harm to anyone.

So what are we really afraid of?

Learned Hatred vs. Inherent Humanity

Many people will say, “Well, I was raised to believe this. It’s in my scripture.” And I hear you.

But here’s the deeper question: If you weren’t taught to fear or reject LGBTQ+ people, would you? Would you still believe they were wrong? Dangerous? An abomination?

If your honest answer is no, that without religion or tradition you’d have no real reason to hate, then ask yourself: Is your religion teaching you to hate?

And if so, what does that do to your inner world?

Coaching Is About Harmony — Not Conformity

As a mental health coach, I don’t aim to tell people what to believe. My goal is to help you examine the beliefs you already hold and assess whether they create harmony or disharmony in your life.

When a belief causes deep inner conflict, or damages your relationships, or closes your heart toward people who are simply living the truest version of themselves, that’s something worth exploring.

Because beliefs shape behavior. And behavior shapes relationships. And our relationships shape the quality of our lives.

So again, I’m not trying to convert you. I’m just asking:

“If a belief is causing you to reject, fear, or hate someone who is not hurting you...Is that belief serving your growth — or blocking it?”

You Deserve Peace, Too

If no one has told you this today:You matter.Your growth matters. Your peace matters. And so does your ability to love others not just tolerate them without fear.

If this sparked something in you, stay curious. You don’t have to agree. But asking these questions is where healing begins.